In the movies, it seems so often that in order to accentuate the gloom of a funeral, it is set in the rain. Black umbrellas pop up amidst the dark grey sky as everyone gathers around the grave. The scene was slightly different Wednesday night in the village when I was unexpectedly invited to the funeral of a Khmer woman I had never met.
We agreed to go and set off by motodop- in spite of the ominous sky. Five minutes into our trek it began to sprinkle. Then it began to POUR. It wasn't so bad when we were on the main road, aside from the fact that we were going quite fast and so each droplet pelted us in the face; but as soon as we turned onto the dirt (or by that point mud) road leading to the other village, the driving became nearly treacherous. We unsuccessfully attempted to swerve around knee deep puddles and there were several places at which we had to dismount in order to make it through. We stopped to take shelter for a minute and buy ponchos by the side of the road, though by that point the damage had been done. We were completely SOAKED. By donning the florescent ponchos, each in a different color, and piling back on, three to a moto, all we did was create quite a scene as this rainbow entourage appeared at the funeral.
However, the sky was the only black thing present here since in Cambodia, white represents death. There was actually a lot of color and in the center of the whole affair was a stage with a large tiered awning type structure that I can only describe as looking like a wedding cake. It had many layers and a green trim and was illuminated both inside and out. Within in it was the body awaiting cremation. I wish I had some way of showing what it looked like, but I wasn't about to take pictures at a funeral and while I hoped I might be able to come across an example online, it seems others feel equally uncomfortable... This CLIP is the best I could find, and though it doesn't show the aforementioned structure at all, it does capture some of the chanting and songs as well as the bright colors of the Buddhist icons.
In addition to wearing white, many also shave their heads as a sign of mourning. Yet while we were there, people did not seem to be grieving. Perhaps this is partly because according to Buddhist belief as the deceased is just passing on to the next cycle and being reborn. Perhaps it is also partly because Khmer funerals can be a multiple day affair--often the longer the funeral, the more wealthy the family is as they can afford to preserve the (typically already healthier) body longer. The only mournful part was the chanting and sorrowful songs coming from stage area.
People were so kind and hospitable, even in spite of their grief! When we first arrived, my moto driver (and only hope for some translation) took off to find the other motodop and so I was left to fend for myself. But everyone was patient as I failed miserably at speaking Khmer. The man whose mother had passed away, who I knew from the village I am in each week, graciously held an umbrella over my pathetic sopping wet self and guided me to a sheltered area where I could confusedly observe everything going on. I somewhat uncomfortably accepted the invitation to sit at the main table where he and several other family members were seated and was quickly served a steaming bowl of rice porridge with pork, shrimp, squid, and other unidentifiable sea creatures. I had the impression that this same meal is eaten continuously throughout the day. Just when I was feeling accomplished for making it through most of it and relieved that I only had a bite or two left, out of nowhere appeared a hand bearing a gigantic ladle which ever so kindly and eagerly topped off my bowl once again...
It was an honor to attend and definitely not an experience I would have ever expected to have. I just wish, as I was sitting there, that I knew more of what was going on. But it's been interesting these past couple of days to be able to ask about it and learn more about the traditions of funerals in Cambodia.
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