Definitely Missed this in High School History...

So I feel a little strange still posting now that I've been back for over a week; but I had wanted to write about this since the first week and for whatever reason, never did. Also, I was showing my family pictures last night and was horrified by how much I am already forgetting about Cambodia!! So even if no one else ever reads this, I'm writing for my own sake...

What do you know about the Khmer Rouge? Are you aware that this reign of terror occurred in the late SEVENTIES and that over 1.7 MILLION people (1/5 of the country's population) were murdered in the genocide that ensued? Prior to going to Cambodia, I had definitely heard at least the term "Khmer Rouge" and knew there had been Cambodian refugees as a result, but that was the extent of my limited knowledge and I surely do not remember learning about it in school.

There is SO much that could be said, but to state it as simply as possible, a violent communist regime came to power in 1975 under the leadership of Pol Pot with the desire of creating a Maoist, classless, anti-intellectual, and solely agrarian society. In attempts to bring this about, anyone who threatened this ideal---hence the educated and middle class---were exiled or executed in the most gruesome ways. Teachers, lawyers, doctors, government officials, those who spoke a foreign language and thus were suspected to be enemies of the state, even those who wore glasses as they were assumed to be educated and therefore a threat---all were tortured and murdered. Families were divided as they somehow were believe represented capitalism and children were often pulled in to join the regime.

Those in the capital of Phnom Penh were literally marched out into the countryside to work the fields. All industry was brought to a halt. One of the main places that those who were believed to be deviants of the regime were brought was called TUOL SLENG.

This was formerly a high school, but since the goal was to do away with all forms of education, it was transformed to a prison and place of torture. Over 20,000 people were interrogated in order to try to get them to name friends and family who would then in turn also be tortured and ultimately killed.

The "most important" prisoners were assigned to their own room like above while the others were chained together in small rooms on the second and third floor.

Look at the floor in the picture above. What's horrific is that you can still see dried blood along the walls or puddled on the floor in these rooms where the torture took place. Yet another reminder that this is recent history...

While visiting, we met this man, Chum Mey, who was one of 7 survivors of Tuol Sleng. (he's on the far left of the other 6 in this picture he is standing beside) He described the horror of seeing his wife and son murdered and the torture of having his head pounded, toenails twisted and ripped off, sticks jammed in his ears, fingers broken, and the other gruesome things that were done to him. He was kept alive because of his high mechanical skills and now frequently visits the genocide museum to share his story.

We also had the opportunity to go to Choeung Ek. While most of the country could have been considered "the killing fields," this area was notorious for the deaths which occurred here and has now been made into a memorial museum. After torturing the people at Tuol Sleng, they were sent here to be executed.

This monument was constructed for remembrance and is filled with 17 tiers of skulls, bones, and clothing from the victims.

In an attempt to save on costly bullets, people were murdered in whatever way was most convenient-- beaten against a tree, a blow from a shovel or ax, etc. Then chemicals were poured over the bodies to reduce the stench and to be sure that no one was left alive. 126 mass graves have been uncovered here...

This happened just 30 years ago. The survivors are alive to tell their stories. The country is still recovering from the aftermath--both physically and in its government and education systems. Refugees are still relocated. And yet we are seldom taught about the Khmer Rouge in schools or hear about it on the news even though there is still so much happening with regard to it.

In fact the trials are still going on. Just Monday BBC released THIS article on "Duch," the leader of the interrogations at Tuol Sleng. He was finally tried in July (though we heard very little about it while it was happening) and sentenced to not life, but 35 years in prison-- since then, it has been shortened to 19 years. What shocks me is that trials did not actually begin get under way and become fully operational until 2007 and that Duch is the first to receive any sentence.

Sorry for being so wordy and full of gruesome detail, but this is history and reality and something I think we should, at the very least, be aware of

Back

After nearly a day on a plane, I managed to make it back to the US safe and sound with miraculously no complications whatsoever!

However, though I've barely been home for 24 hours, the transition has been uncomfortably easy so far. Where is the reverse culture shock and extreme jet lag that I fully expected and have experienced many times before? I'm not complaining I guess; but it's just strange to be sitting here, plucking away on my computer, as if I never even left.

Granted I have been (pleasantly and gratefully!) shocked by some things--- being able to simply turn on the faucet and DRINK whenever I'm thirsty, the lack of oncoming traffic in the right hand lane and not having to fear for my life every time I cross the street (though apparently I do need to be more conscious & cautious of the T...), discovering toilet paper in public restrooms, sleeping in a bed and not waking up in a puddle of sweat, hearing so much English spoken around me, and other small things.

Yet Cambodia already seems so far away and removed from life here. There is no point of reference from which to share about it with others. It just feels so distant-- like a whole other life and world. Perhaps it's because, in my short time home, I've already traversed half the state of MA and beyond, have immediately become caught up in everything here, and haven't had a chance to rest. However, today, upon my first sip of the iced coffee I pulled over for, I was instantly struck with the reality that the $2.00 I easily shelled out for this could have bought dinner for an entire family in Cambodia. My hope and prayer is, as I continue to settle in and continue to process, that Cambodia wouldn't become just "an amazing summer trip" or a "great experience," for though it surely was both, I want it to have a lasting impact on myself and others. I'm just not sure what this is going to look like yet...

I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane...

It's 3:30 AM.

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I board a plane bound for the US in less than 7 hours.

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Am I asleep? No (obviously...)

Am I packed? Nope (though I'm almost done!)

Am I instead wasting time doing completely arbitrary things (like writing this post about absolutely nothing)? Of course!!

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I vehemently LOATHE packing and so always leave it until the last possible minute and typically do not sleep the night before I travel anywhere. It's not the process of putting the items into the suitcase that I hate. I actually quite enjoy organizing and arranging everything to make it fit perfectly. I think it's more the fact that packing means change as I leave one place and go to another. As much as I am excited to GO back home, I do not want to LEAVE!!!

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Despite the fact that when I first arrived, I was wondering what in the world I was doing in CAMBODIA and nearly at the point of counting the days before I returned to the states, I have grown so attached to this country, especially the people I've met here! I had many series of goodbyes today, though some are just being prolonged until the morning. Now that I'm leaving, it's so easy for me to get caught up with regretting all of the things I wish I had done, places I wanted to go, conversations I should have had, and wishing I had more time to do those things. Yet this has been an amazing summer and it is all of the experiences that I DID have that I want to focus on. Likewise I'm realizing that there are so many other things I wanted to post about and had composed in my mind but never had a chance to actually write up. So perhaps I will play catch up for a bit once I return as it will be a good way for me to remember all that did happen!

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OK, now to throw those last minute things into my bag and maybe catch an hour of sleep. But then again, why sleep now when I have 20+ hours trapped on a plane for exactly that...?

This is like the funeral pyre thing I was trying to describe before. Now imagine it in a dark village, illuminated by green lights with people chanting all around it. It was a strange combination of beautiful and eerie.

If I was going to be here for another month, I'd also have the opportunity to attend a Khmer wedding or two of different friends I've made here. But alas, I am heading home and am even more excited for the weddings that await me there!

The First of Many Lasts

It's hard to believe that I'll be heading back to the US in just a few short days. I also never expected how SAD I would be to leave this country, especially the wonderful people I've met here!

This morning I said my last goodbyes to two of our team members who were heading out to one of the provinces for the week and will not be back to Phnom Penh until after I've already boarded the plane home.

Today was my last day at Morning Star Center. For the past two weeks I have been working with some of the teen girls, teaching them how to make jewelry. (The few computers they have are quickly biting the dust and now they're down to one. So instead of having both Tigor and I working with the same student, I was asked to do this and definitely didn't complain as this is something I'm MUCH more interested in and skilled with) Though I'm sure the girls would love to keep the treasures they make, they've chosen to donate all of the items to a small street bazaar that the center will hold come September in order to raise funds to help support some of their peers to go to school, pay for supplies, and to put towards other activities. It was fun working with them and, as seems to be a trend, learning how to explain things without words. The girls were so excited to see what they had made, as was evidenced by the way they modeled the jewelry and complimented one another with "sa-at" (beautiful!). It was amazing too to see their creativity and the way they took to teaching one another.

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In addition to teaching the kids some new games and learning some myself, I also had a chance to help Ay Ling, the director, write up the story of how Morning Star began and it was amazing to hear of God's faithfulness and complete provision throughout all of it.

They didn't realize until I arrived that it was my last day; yet before I left, the teens gathered around to thank me, pray for me, and give me sweet letters they had written and little gifts of their own things. I was only there once a week and so don't feel like I really got to know them that well, but they were so grateful. Honestly, their stories and the evidence of their tremendous faith has been more of an encouragement to me than anything.

Baking in Cambodia

I LOVE to bake and have been going through withdrawal since being here as baking is just not a Khmer thing to do. NO ONE has an oven. Anything you might possibly use for baking is imported. Cambodians, for the most part, do not care much for sweet and think Westerners are crazy for liking it so much.

However, I had the rare opportunity to bake not just once, but TWICE this past week---and both were successful adventures!

1. The first time was with one of my advanced students as we set out to make a birthday cake for another of the women in the class. Now Marady is an unusual case, for while I said no one has an oven here, she used to work at an American bakery located here and once it went out of business, she continued to bake on commission out of her home. (However, unfortunately she cannot make much of a living off of this as many of the ingredients are so expensive and there just is not much of a demand for cake here...) Anyways she picked me up on her moto and brought me back to her house, which also doubles as a center and dormitory for around 30 university students who have come from the provinces to Phnom Penh to study.

We made a vanilla cake and it was incredibly dense and delicious! The process was very much like what I'm accustomed to back home, except flour and such is weighed on a scale like in the UK and we added Coke and powdered milk to the batter, which I have never done, though I know it's not uncommon. The cake expanded far above the top of the pan, so we feasted on the the 3 inches we had to hack off the top while we cut flowers from fondant-like material and waited for the cake to cool.

The health inspector or FDA would have had a heyday with us though as we worked amidst flies, ants, and geckos and did everything, from forming fondant to greasing the pan, with ungloved hands. (look closely at the picture above. I realized afterwards that I managed to capture some of the obnoxious little flies atop the flowers) It trust all the germs baked off... Nary loved it nonetheless and I really enjoyed having the opportunity to bake with Marady, whom previously I probably knew the least out of our class. Since it took us nearly four hours, we had fun just talking and I loved learning about what brought her to Phnom Penh, how she met her husband, what it is like to share with these students who come to the center, her difficulties in trying to find a job, and so much more.

Happy Birthday Nary!

2. The second baking venture was a bit more of an experiment. Rika, our wonderful Indonesian host, wanted to learn how to make oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and asked me to teach her. First off, let me remind you that Khmer seldom bake and therefore the necessary items are either unavailable (such as chocolate chips...) or exorbitantly priced (2 sticks of butter=$3.00; and don't forget this is Cambodia where I can order a delicious MEAL for $1.00) However, you just get creative and learn to improvise.

Yet it wasn't the lack of ingredients that made things so interesting. Not having any traditional measuring devices, we proceeded through a process I fondly call "dump baking" where you simply eyeball it. It became tricky when Rika wanted to know exact amounts in order to replicate the recipe because, not only was I completely guessing, but in my baking world of using cups and teaspoons, I also have no concept of GRAMS. Oh, and did I mention the OVEN?

Fitting only four cookies to a sheet and having to twist the timer every five minutes made it a slow process. But it worked!

Believe it or not, they actually cooked and were remarkably delicious---as attested to by the fact that I am admitting it, my American teammates are in agreement, and all of the cookies have DISAPPEARED :)

Perhaps we can next attempt pie...?

ALWAYS is neither CONDITIONAL nor OPTIONAL

"Rejoice ALWAYS, pray continually, give thanks in ALL circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus"

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

I was forcing myself to dwell on this verse last week when I was trapped in a cramped, stuffy, and filthy taxi, impatiently waiting for over an hour to leave the parking lot. Rejoicing was not my first instinct. I wasn't feeling particularly thankful. I wanted to sit there, all sweaty and sulky, just feeling sorry for myself. But this verse, this command, kept coming to mind. It doesn't say, "Rejoice when you're cruising along in your air-conditioned car, pray when you feel like it, and give thanks when life's just peachy keen." No it says, ALWAYS. I started with the prayer part because I knew thankfulness and joy were not going to come of their own accord and there was a significant shift in my disposition by the time we arrived in the village.

I am slowly learning to put my life into perspective. The things I am often quick to complain about are so petty; and in light of what so many others actually struggle with on a daily basis, they are NOTHING. Ya, being squashed in that dilapidated van was not the most pleasant experience, but you know what?--it was merely an hour; it sure beat walking; and though it only costs around $1.00, being able to travel so freely is a luxury many in the village will never have.

A few days ago I also found myself getting so irritated when we lost electricity and internet. How ridiculous to be upset and grumble over this?! I just take so much for granted and have grown far too comfortable in it. First off, when I go to the village, no one there has electricity and I'm sure a computer is a rare sight for most. Secondly, when I came to Cambodia I didn't even expect to have these things myself, so how can I complain about losing them for such a short time?

I feel foolish like Jonah who becomes irate with God for taking away the shade which He had just provided Jonah with to shelter him in the scorching desert, rather than being thankful for the respite he had been given... (Jonah 4:4-10)